What Is Lube?:
Lube, in the context of sex stuff, is a liquid or gel used to reduce friction during sex. This can include making penetration (anal, vaginal, or oral), hand to genital contact, or genital to genital contact (e.g. scissoring or frottage) feel easier and ‘smoother’.
There’s a common misconception that lube is only needed if there’s a ‘problem’ with sex. This is absolutely false. While it’s especially important for safe anal sex (anuses do not self lubricate, making lube an absolute necessity) and for people with vaginas who have less natural lubrication (which could be due to going on testosterone, having a neo-vagina which lubricates less than desired, or being post-menopausal), lube is a great addition to all sex acts, be they solo, partnered, penetrative, non penetrative, with toys, or with bodies.
However, some people’s access to information about lubes may be limited. Some people may not be aware of different types of lubricants compatibilities and incompatibilities with different sex toys and barrier methods. Many more may be unaware that ingredients in a lot of commonly available drugstore lubes may be harmful. This post aims to give a little overview of lubricant types, ingredients to avoid, and give a few lubricant recommendations.
Types of Lube:
Water-Based Lubes:
Water based lubes are, as you might guess from the name, water based. They have a variety of textures, with some being thicker and more gel like (often marketed as anal lubricants), and some being thinner. Water based lubes do dry out during use, but can be reactivated, either with water (including saliva), or by applying more lubricant.
Water based lubes aren’t suitable for sex where you are in contact with water, such as underwater sex or shower sex. This is because they are water soluble, and will disperse.
Water based lubricants are compatible with all sex toy materials. They are alsocompatible with barrier methods made of materials such as latex, polyurethane, polyisoprene, and nitrile. This includes pretty much all barrier methods, including external condoms, dental dams, internal condoms, nitrile gloves, and finger cots.
Some water based lubes I’d recommend include Sliquid Sassy and SUTIL Luxe
Silicone-Based Lubes:
Silicone based lubes are longer-lasting than water based lubes, and can feel slicker than their water based counterparts. They also tend to be more expensive than water based lubes, as silicone is a more expensive ingredient. They are waterproof, making them more suitable for shower PiV sex than water based lubes. It is worth noting that silicone lube can stain fabric.
It is not recommended that you use silicone lubricants and silicone toys. Silicone lubes will also degrade TPE toys, such as masturbation sleeves. Lubricated external condoms often use silicone lubricants. This means that if you are using a condom with a silicone toy, you may want to specifically seek out non-lubricated condoms, or condoms with water based lube.
Silicone lubricants are compatible with barrier methods made of materials such as latex, polyurethane, polyisoprene, and nitrile. This includes pretty much all barrier methods, including external condoms, dental dams, internal condoms, nitrile gloves, and finger cots.
Some silicone lubricants I recommend are Sliquid Silver, and Uberlube
Hybrid Lubes:
Hybrid lubes are, as the name suggests, a hybrid between water based and silicone base lubes. They are longer lasting than pure water based lubricant, and may be safer to use with silicone toys than pure silicone lubes, although a patch test is strongly recommended. Because they contain less silicone, an expensive ingredient, they tend to be cheaper than pure silicone lubes.
Hybrid lubricants are, like silicone lubes, compatible with pretty much all barrier methods, including external condoms, dental dams, internal condoms, nitrile gloves, and finger cots.
A hybrid lubricant I recommend is Sliquid Silk
Oil Based Lubes:
Oil based lubes are, like silicone based lubes, long lasting and slippery. However, they have a number of incompatibilities. Oil based lubricants will degrade latex or polyisoprene, which many barrier methods, such as external condoms or dental dams, are made of. Additionally, many oil based lubes can be unsafe for vaginas, especially if they contain petrochemical derivatives and/or mineral oils.
However, oil based lubes are compatible with silicone toys. They’re also compatible with nitrile or polyurethane barrier methods, which includes some external condoms, and most internal (also known as ‘female’) condoms.
An oil-based lube I recommend is Southern Butter.
What Ingredients Should I Avoid?:
Glycerine:
Glycerine is a sugar alcohol that’s found in many water based lubes, especially flavoured lubes, and ones that are cooling or warming. A high level of glycerine can lead to bacterial growth, potentially resulting in yeast infections and UTIs1. Glycerine is an ingredient to avoid, especially if you’re already prone to yeast infections.
Petroleum Based Products:
Petroleum based products can alter vaginal or anal pH, leading to a higher chance of infection. In fact, a study found that (cis) women who used petroleum jelly as lube in the past month were more than twice as likely to have bacterial vaginosis as those who did not2.
Numbing Agents (e.g. Benzocaine):
Desensitising lubes may sound like a good way to ease into sex, and are especially marketed for anal sex, but they’re actually very dangerous. Sex (anal or vaginal) is not meant to hurt. If there is significant pain during penetration, that’s a sign you need to use more lube, slow down, or stop completely. Using a numbing cream or lube to ignore warning signs from your body is likely to lead to worse tissue damage and tearing3. And ingredients like Benzocaine may pose health risks when absorbed systemically.4
Propylene glycol, benzene, benzoic acid, & chlorhexidine:
These ingredients can cause vulval and vaginal irritation, and even allergic contact dermatitis. 5 6
This post was not a sponsored post. Affiliate links were used in this post.
1. Andelloux, M. (2011) Products for Sexual Lubrication: Understanding and Addressing Options with your Patients. Nursing for Women’s Health, June-July 2011, Vol.15(3), pp.253-257 ↩
2. Brown, J. Hess, K. & Brown, S. Murphy, C. Lena Waldman, A. Hezareh, M. (2013). Intravaginal Practices and Risk of Bacterial Vaginosis and Candidiasis Infection Among a Cohort of Women in the United States. Obstetrics and gynecology. 121. 773-80.↩
3. Andelloux, M. (2011) Products for Sexual Lubrication: Understanding and Addressing Options with your Patients. Nursing for Women’s Health, June-July 2011, Vol.15(3), pp.253-257 ↩
4. McBride, K. Fortenberry, J, (2010). Heterosexual Anal Sexuality and Anal Sex Behaviors: A Review, Journal of Sex Research, 47:2-3, 123-136, DOI: 10.1080/00224490903402538↩
5. Tancik, R. Maibach, H. (1982) Propylene glycol: irritation or sensitization? Contact Dermatitis, June 1982, Vol.8(3), pp.185-189 ↩
6. Fisher, A. Brancaccio, R (1979). Allergic Contact Sensitivity to Propylene glycol in a Lubricant Jelly. ↩
