I think I need to open this review by admitting that my partner and I have started calling our Tentacle Grinder from Uncover Creations ‘the horny sushi’. I’m not sure if this is cute, funny, horrifying, or some mixture of all four, but it is something I feel the need to confess.
My own horrible nicknaming aside, the Tentacle Grinder from Uncover Creations is absolutely gorgeous. I can’t think of any other way to describe it. There’s so much texture and detail, from the intertwined curves of the tentacles and the varied sizes of each sucker to the little shells on the base, giving it the impression of a sea floor. While the actual toy is static (obviously), the way the tentacles are sculpted to be so intertwined with each other and so variable in their shape and direction really gives it a sense of motion and the kind of fluidity that makes tentacles hot for a lot of people.
I’ve tried a few other grinding toys before on this blog, but the Tentacle Grinder is both the largest I’ve ever used—at 7 inches by 4.9 inches—and the only one to include nylon straps. These allow the toy to be kept strapped down to a surface, like a pillow, pile of towels, positioning pillow, thigh, hand, or anything else. The straps aren’t huge, at around 0.7 m length each, but they’re long enough for most common uses. Where I’ve found I want a bit of extra length, it’s also been very simple to just make longer straps out of webbing I already own and slip it through the holes in the Tentacle Grinder. The straps can also be removed just as easily while you’re washing the toy, or if you prefer not to use them.
Sometimes I’m very opinionated about what colours I want my toys to be, but the Tentacle Grinder is one of those few where I knew I would adore any combination. I spent ages on the gallery page on Uncover Creations’ website and their Instagram, just looking at all the combinations. While I sent Uncover Creations some links to previous pours they’d done that I loved the look of (I love the bright, almost candy-like colours of this pour, the bright electric greens here, and the soft dusky marbling on this grinder), I didn’t know what my pour would be until it arrived. And I absolutely adore it— the koi-like marble of white and ‘firelight’ combination is so fun! Even if it is the catalyst for a slightly weird nickname.
The Tentacle Grinder starts from £54.99 for a ‘surprise’ colour or £59.99 for a chosen solid colour. The two-colour marble of my grinder would be £64.99 if custom ordered. There is also the option to add a smooth finish to a grinder for an extra £10, although it’s recommended not to opt for this if you are (as their disclaimers page states) “allergic to durian, tree nuts and tree nut derivatives or musk thistle seed”. I’m not personally allergic to any of these ingredients, but my grinder doesn’t have the Silky Smooth Upgrade.
Using The Tentacle Grinder
Because of its size and heft, the Tentacle Grinder isn’t suitable for being used as a strap-on buffer in the same way as some other grinding toys I own. However, the large size and buckle straps open up some new use possibilities— I knew from the beginning that I wanted to test buckling it to a thigh for partnered sex. However, the large size and straps also meant that I expected some use-cases in common between this and my other grinding toys—particularly pillow humping—would feel a bit different.
I love the Tentacle Grinder for partnered thigh humping, and I think that’s an absolute highlight. Because I’m not relying on underwear to keep the grinding toy in place (as is the case with my Alia), I can be completely naked, and feel a lot more connected and present with my partner because of it. It’s also very comfortable to have strapped on to a thigh—I can get what feels like a solid and reliable stay without the straps digging into my thighs. Also, as an aside, my pro-tip for not getting leg hair caught in the buckles (as somebody with a lot of leg hair) is to loosen the straps as much as possible, buckle them around the thigh, and then tighten as desired.
I did run into a bit more of a challenge when it came to strapping the Tentacle Grinder to a pillow. My pillow humping—even way back when in my teens—was always done at an angle, rather than a flat surface. My favourite humping surface is the high edge of my Liberator Wedge, and while this works fine for toys I just put in my underwear to hold them against myself, it’s slightly less suited to the Tentacle’s size and weight. To be clear you can 100% still use the Tentacle Grinder this way—and I did and do, and I really like it—but the bulk makes it feel a bit more awkward than smaller grinding toys.
The slight awkwardness aside, I do think ‘in the underwear’ is the best way to use the Tentacle Grinder on an angled surface. Resting it on the angle by itself can be a challenge— the straps aren’t quite long enough to stretch around my Liberator Wedge (hence the DIY solution), but it’s not stable in position from just being under my weight either.
If you’re not so angle-focused when it comes to humping—which I think is the case for most people[ref]My brain is now possibly connecting the angles I like to hump at and a) my preference for strap-on topping and b) the ways in which I like topping for partnered scissoring to be pretty close to penetrative sex. Much to think about.[/ref]—this is not a problem you really have to contend with. I have also used the Tentacle Grinder strapped down to a mound of pillows and towels. Aside from having to navigate where and in what direction my knees should bend (because I am apparently an old man), it worked well. I think the issue for me though was that it made it harder to get the angle that feels natural for me to grind on things.
The Tentacle Grinder’s Sensation
I talked up all the lovely detail of the Tentacle Grinder, but in use I don’t really feel a huge amount of it. That’s not to say I don’t like the feeling, but aside from general ‘raised’ vs ‘non-raised’ I find it really hard to tell what I’m grinding on specifically. This may be anatomical—I’ve been on hormones for a long time and have quite a lot of bottom growth, so if you’re non or pre-t, you might have a different experience. I do sort of feel the texture of the suckers, although again it’s ‘raised’ vs ‘non-raised’ rather than particularly detailed, and it can be easy to not notice it with the changes in texture from the curling tentacles themselves.
I love how varied this makes the experience. It’s not for everyone—some people prefer having a raised central surface that specifically sits against the structure of a vulva à la the Ruby Glow. Uncover Creations also makes another tentacle themed grinding toy— the aptly named Tentacle Grinder II. I don’t have direct experience with it, so won’t talk about it too much, but if you’re looking for a shape that gives that kind of stimulation, I think it would be a better match for you.
My personal tastes lend themselves to the Tentacle though. Covered in lube (I’m always a slut for Sliquid Sassy, but I think the gel-like consistency works well here), the inconsistent (in a good way!) texture is excellent for sliding against. While there’s a little squish to my Tentacle Grinder, the toy as a whole is thick enough that even with a little give (making that heavy texture feel comfortable), it still feels lovely and solid.
Overall
I only have one real complaint about the Tentacle Grinder, and that’s that it’s a pig to clean. Any heavily texture toy is likely to be a bit difficult, but the Tentacle Grinder is up there even amongst my textured toys. Absolutely worth it, but something to consider if you don’t have the dexterity to scrub all the little nooks and crannies.
Overall though, I think the Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder is fantastic. It’s not suited to being a strap-on base, but makes up for that in other ways. The large and solid size means I find it usable for non-‘inside the boxers’ grinding on surfaces, even as a very clumsy and intense humper. At the same time, it is still usable ‘inside the boxers’ style, meaning I can use it in the slightly angled way I prefer to use grinding toys. And the straps really add to the possibilities for both solo and partnered sex— strapping it to a thigh in particular is one of my favourite ways to use it, especially because it feels more intimate than clothed humping.
Buy the Tentacle Grinder from Uncover Creations
This product was sent to me by Uncover Creations, in exchange for a fair and impartial review. No affiliate links were used in this post.
