Before I even really get into my review of the Exo, I just want to say that it is a bold strategy for a toy marketed towards trans women to require the wearer to have an erection. In the wise words of Dodgeball (2004), let’s see if it pays off for them.
The Exo
The Exo is an exceptionally weird looking toy, and I don’t blame you if you have no idea how it’s used at first glance.
Basically, the toy’s hard plastic stabilising plate is tied down onto the abdomen using the ribbons provided (which are very long and can fit a wide variety of body shapes and sizes). This holds it in place, allowing the user—once the sleeve is attached to the plate—to thrust into the sleeve, with it being held stationary by the abdomen.
My main interest in reviewing the Exo comes from the fact that the primary way it’s been marketed is as a toy intended for transgender women, particularly for receptive anal sex. It’s pretty obvious if you’ve consumed any of my content before, but just in case you’re new here, I am not a trans woman or transfeminine. However, my long term/nesting/primary partner, who did the testing for this product, is. The majority of the feedback that formed the basis of this review is hers.
Sex Toy Marketing
With some caveats, I will say that I have positive feelings around the Exo being marketed towards the trans community. They definitely are complicated feelings, but overall I feel positive about it. While I’m generally a proponent of just gender-neutralising sex toys, I do appreciate toys that are made for the specific and unique needs of trans people.
I also think it’s worth noting that the Exo is marketed specifically towards trans women. Almost all the toys I’ve seen marketed with trans users in mind have been towards trans men, transmasculine people, and other non-binary/trans people who were assigned female at birth.
However, my partner and I do have some ‘hmm’ feelings around it being talked about as a ‘sex toy for trans women’, both because we feel it’s made for a very specific type of trans woman (whose experience is not universal), and because it draws a categorical line between the Exo and other toys transfeminine users may enjoy using.
Wearing & Fitting
I will 100% give the Exo props for being wearable on a bunch of different body sizes. The waist ribbon is very long, fitting waists up to 45 inches if it’s double wrapped, and significantly larger than that if it isn’t. One of my big criticisms of… well, everything, is that products marketed towards fat people often don’t take trans consumers into account (e.g. plus sized strap-on harnesses that are very feminine looking), and those marketed towards trans people don’t take fat people into account (e.g. packing underwear that only goes up to the equivalent of a women’s XL). The Exo doesn’t fall into this, and I will give credit where it’s due.
The Exo does need to be tied quite tightly to act as a stabiliser, which may be uncomfortable or intrusive for some people. But there is a lot of adjustment in placement on the abdomen, depending on torso length, penis length, where you want the sleeve to sit on your penis, etc. As a tip, don’t attach the sleeve to the stabilising plate until it’s on the wearer, as this will give you a better idea of where to set it.
The black plastic is, to be honest, very uncomfortable. It digs into the stomach, especially if your stomach isn’t very curved. Movement or changing positions also pushes it out of place, meaning if you want to try different positions for sex while wearing the Exo, it’ll likely have to be put on all over again.
Movement & Use
Part of the marketing around the Exo focuses on the fact it uses natural body movements to work, rather than relying on direct penis stimulation with a hand or machine. While the marketing behind this claims that it places less emphasis on the wearer’s penis, in practice my partner didn’t find that to be the case. Because the movements it relies on are thrusting-based, she actually found it made her feel like she was “fucking like a cis man would” more than other products we’ve tried together have.
I can see how the hands-free aspect alone can be gender-affirming for somebody, but for my partner the hard black plastic of the Exo felt pretty intrusive, in a way that also drew attention to the fact she was wearing it.
In terms of actual sensation, the Exo sleeve is… fine? While we’re not planning to use the Exo in its entirety post-testing, the sleeve is something we have talked about keeping closer by, and just using in a more conventional way for a sleeve. It’s pretty lightly textured, with an open end and non-anatomical features. I have very little to say about it other than the fact I appreciate there being a pink option and the fact it’s made of silicone rather than TPE.
That doesn’t mean it felt comfortable in the context of the Exo though. If the sleeve isn’t placed at the end of the abdominal plate, you may find yourself being jabbed by hard plastic. The sleeve is also held at quite a severe angle, which requires the user to be very hard to use it.
(As a little aside, I also tested the Exo using a strap, because if there’s one thing I love doing it’s trying out dick toys on a strap. While it ended up being fine, I did become terrified about halfway through that I’d snapped the bendable core of my Shilo, if that gives you an idea of how sharp the angle is.)
Criticisms & Limitations
I am sure there are people out there for whom the Exo is going to be a game changer. However, my partner and I were very much not those people, and I think the actual potential user base for this product is pretty small, just from technical limitations.
I will say that I do really appreciate Exo offering a 14 day money back guarantee. However, it also comes with marketing claiming that the Exo is “designed for every body”, which I think is fundamentally untrue. While it has some adjustability—the waist strap is very easy to fit to changing bodies, and the different placement options for the sleeve cuffs mean it’s usable by people with different penis sizes—it’s still an extremely specific product.
I know I keep harping on about the ‘you need to be very hard to be able to use the Exo’ thing, but given a common side effect of feminising HRT is experiencing fewer erections—and the erections that do happen being less firm and lasting shorter periods of time—it really does feel like a bizarre choice for a toy “inspired by the trans female community”. Honestly, despite the marketing, making a toy for trans women that expects them to have hard penises that they’re OK with thrusting treats them more like cis men than a bunch of the more common types of toy usage I’ve seen amongst my transfem lovers and friends.
The creators of the Exo do acknowledge that “the individual experience of each person in the trans community is very different” and that the Exo can be used by people of different identities, so I’m more charitable than I could be. But, in my partner’s words, to use the Exo “you need to be OK with acknowledging your penis but not wanting to use it to fuck somebody”.
Overall
I am sure that there are people out there for whom the Exo works exceptionally well. My partner and I are just not those people, and we think that the way the Exo works means that the demographic it will suit is pretty small.
Spicy takes about marketing aside, there are other products she’d recommend instead of the Exo if you’re a trans woman in the same kind of position as her. She really likes the Hot Octopuss Jett, especially as it’s reasonably non intrusive, hands free, doesn’t require movement, and doesn’t require the user to have an erection to work. While it’s not a preference of hers, she does also want to shout out wand vibrators if you’d prefer something that’s generally marketed towards women (my other—also transfem—partners like the Doxy and Zalo Kyro, if you’re looking for specific recs).
This product was sent to me by SheVibe, in return for a fair and impartial review. Affiliate links were used in this post.
