I want to start my review of Girl Sex 101 by Allison Moon by making it clear I am not the intended target demographic of this book. Girl Sex 101 is intended for ‘ladies and lady-lovers of all genders and identities’ with a specific focus on women who have sex with women, and I am a man who primarily sleeps with other men. There are a few mentions of trans guys throughout the book, but the focus remains primarily on women who have sex with women. And yet, despite that people like me are not the intended audience or focus of this book, I genuinely love it. I think it is the best sex ed book I have ever had access to, and I recommend it to literally everyone who asks me for a sex ed book recommendation, regardless of what their identity is.
There’s definitely moments where I’m very aware that I’m not the target audience when reading- she/her pronouns are scatted throughout, and the 101 title is a intentional pun, with smutty excerpts from fictional road trip Highway 101 sprinkled throughout the book, and these little f/f scenes didn’t really do anything for me. But it’s completely fine that a book does’t cater to me, I’m honestly really glad there’s a book like this aimed specifically at my queer sisters, if language choices bugged me enough I would happily just pencil in my own preferred pronouns, and the content of this book is just so good. It covers every topic I can think of when it comes to sex and relationships. Also it’s only $23.99 at SheVibe and I’m not saying you should buy it right this second, but you should also buy it right this second.
Girl Sex 101 goes far beyond the minimum for every subject it covers, while being able to cover a huge array of topics. The chapter on communication and consent doesn’t just do a basic ‘yes means yes, no means no’, but talks about disclosure, informed consent, enthusiastic consent, what to do when you don’t know what you want, checking in, and what an embodied yes is, alongside a whole bunch of other relevant topics. The anatomy chapter not only covers basic anatomical diagrams of genitalia, but talks about HRT, menopause, pregnancy, vaginoplasty, what orgasms are, and how to find out what makes you orgasm. And it is so inclusive so casually, with (in one case) pregnancy, piercing, augmentation, HRT, top surgery, and lactating new mothers mentioned in about a page on breasts with no sweat. Bodies outside of young cis abled bodies are mentioned incredibly casually, woven into the book rather than relegated to a limited special section.
There are some chapters I didn’t find particularly useful and didn’t introduce any new information to me. I’ve seen the yes/no/maybe list possibly a million times at this point, and the strap-on and sex toy chapters didn’t introduce any new information to me. But I am a known sex toy nerd, and information being new to me should not be the metric by which any educational resource on sex toys is judged by. Sex information being accessible to those who have no prior knowledge is good, actually. Plus I had a great time identifying different sex toys from the illustrations that KD Diamond made for the book (the Pure Wand and Pure Plug make a few appearances, as does the Tantus Silk and SpareParts Sasha Harness).
The tone of the book is light and accessible throughout, including interviews from a multitude of different people with different experiences. While there’s a huge amount of practical advice in Girl Sex 101– I read the section on hand sex when I first started sleeping with other trans guys and it legitimately changed me- there are also more sections touching on relationships and identity and navigating queerness (including individually as part of a community), and I appreciate their inclusion. That sounds way more mild than it actually is, so I guess what I’m trying to say is I love their inclusion! Sex has a huge social context to it, and I’m glad for a sex manual that recognises that. Also, I re-read Girl Sex 101 in preparation to write this review and the section on identity hit me hard in the feelings (in a good way!) given I’ve been going through some identity stuff recently.
I think everyone should read Girl Sex 101, and I mean legitimately everyone. The blurb may say the info is for ‘ladies and lady-lovers’, but that hasn’t stopped me shoving my copy in the faces of gay male friends (both cis and trans), nor has it stopped them from all finding something to take away from this book. It is a total joy, and I cannot recommend it enough.
Buy Girl Sex 101 for $23.99 from SheVibe
This post was not sponsored and this book was purchased with my own money. Affiliate links were used in this post
