I haven’t reviewed anything from MEO in a while, so want to give just a brief reintroduction. MEO are a German manufacturer and retailer who sell a mix of sex toys and BDSM gear. Their target market is mostly gay men and some of their language is very gendered as a result, so do be aware of that while browsing. That said, I am still a big fan of a lot of their kink offerings, and to be honest fall into that marketing demographic as a queer man into leather. I’m reviewing three products for MEO in the coming month—a chest harness, arm band/impact toy, and—this week—a paddle. I knew I wanted to review a paddle from the moment I got into contact with MEO to ask about reviewing for them again and while I was tempted by the Mother’s Evil Punishment paddle, decided to ask to review the BDSM Tenderizer Paddle, a wooden paddle with a really unique design I’ve never seen before.
The MEO Tenderizer Paddle
The MEO Tenderizer paddle has two sides, one flatter and more conventionally ‘paddle shaped’, while the other has triangular tips. It looks a lot like a meat-tenderiser—my nesting partner and I often refer to review items by mildly cursed nicknames, and thought we were incredibly funny nicknaming it the Tenderizer until remembering that was… actually what it was called—hence the name. The edges of these points are rounded, so it’s not going to break skin, but does add a bit more sting to strikes. The paddle is made of quite a thick piece of wood—on a thinner paddle, I think having a pointed side could result in a paddle that feels fragile, but that’s absolutely not the case here, and it feels really substantial and chunky. While the paddle itself is just wood—MEO don’t specify what kind of wood it is and I don’t know enough to identify it personally—the little storage loop in the handle is leather, meaning it’s not strictly vegan-friendly. I don’t mind this personally—and I honestly prefer biodegradable leather over a plastic “vegan leather”—but I know it would be a dealbreaker for some people.
The balance point is quite far forward, on the body of the paddle rather than in the handle, although balance isn’t as much of an issue with paddles as it is with floggers. It also helps that the Tenderizer is very light—mine weighed in at 159 grams. I suppose during a very long session using very hard strikes you could end up with some arm fatigue, but it’s far less of a concern here than with, say, my silicone paddles.
The whole paddle is 31cm by 9.5cm, with the handle taking up 15cm of that, and feels very comfortable to hold. There is a MEO logo on the paddle that wasn’t present in product photos, but this is an easily removable sticker if it’s something that bothers you.
Using the Tenderizer Paddle
Of all the impact play implements I’ve owned, reviewed, or tried, I think paddles are my favourites. Floggers and whips may be iconic pieces of gear, but they require swinging room I haven’t reliably had access to, and canes have a wonderful sting, but they’re hard to transport. My first ever impact toy was a paddle and I loved it then for the same reason I love paddles now—they’re easy to transport (and hide!), can be used in relatively small spaces, and allow a top to be physically very close to their bottom. The Tenderizer paddle is no exception—I’m not going to play parties for the foreseeable future, but I have chucked it into all the bags I use as toy bags (as well as a couple of everyday bags I have) just to check and it’s very portable, especially with how light it is.
It may be light to hold and carry, but it doesn’t feel light to take hits from. I’m used to silicone paddles, which I’d generally categorise as a half-way point between leather and wood—with some of the flex of leather paddles but with some of the thud of wooden paddles. Because my silicone toys are physically heavier than the Tenderizer paddle, I was expecting them to feel more intense than the wood. I was pretty wrong on this—the lack of flex makes the wooden paddle feel bitier than silicone, especially on the ‘meat tenderiser’ side of it. It feels particularly stingy when used on that side, and unlike the last two sided paddle I reviewed, I can very much feel the difference between the two sides.
The Tenderizer doesn’t deliver the most intense pain I’ve ever experienced from an impact toy, but it’s pretty close. I think part of that is I have much lower thresholds for stingy pain, and the spiked side definitely feels more stingy. It’s a really unique sensation, not quite like the vampire impact toys I have—which have small metal spikes in them specifically to break the skin and cause bleeding—but with a spread out stinginess that’s not quite like my other very stingy toys (mostly whips or canes) either. It’s nice and really does it for me, especially when I want a scene that’s exclusively SM-focused. And in less SM focused (and completely unintended) applications, my partner and I have found the Tenderizer paddle works surprisingly well for relieving post-gym muscle pain, so there’s that too. Makes me wish I could think of a good beef/beefcake related punchline.
Overall
I really like the MEO Tenderizer Paddle! It has a unique design compared to the other impact toys I own, offers multiple kinds of sensation without compromising either, and feels really nice and solid to hold. I wouldn’t recommend it to those who prefer lighter impact play as it’s a very solid paddle with no give even without the spiked side coming into play, but if you want a more intense feeling that doesn’t quite reach skin-breaking levels I’d really recommend it.
Buy The MEO Tenderizer Paddle for €39.90
This product was sent to me by MEO, in return for a fair and impartial review. No affiliate links were used in this post.
