This is not the roundup I expected to be writing at the end of this year, because 2020 has been a wild time in every sense of the word. An incredible amount has happened, both within the sex blogging community and outside of it. Fun fact—I was actually a post-graduate scholar focused on plague at the beginning of this year, before making a pivot around March to mortuary practice and theology because I figured plague would be Too Much.
There are some things I want to highlight within the sex toy/sex blogger sphere. Firstly, one of the big bits of news this year has been the whole situation with Kinkly. For those of you not familiar with Kinkly, they’re sort of an aggregator site who also publish a blog ranking every year, and who this year ran into hot water for elevating transphobic voices in their ranking. I do think it’s important to highlight this isn’t the first time Kinkly have received (justified!) criticism—in 2018 they released a list of 30 sex educators to follow on Twitter which was all white, which is very much not representational of the actual sex educator community.
The second big bit of news is that Wildflower—a sex toy retailer and creator of the Enby sex toy—have sued the sex toy retailer Enby. I don’t think anyone should be allowed to own the term ‘Enby’, and suing a Black and trans owned company for using it is really grim. If you’d like to contribute to Enby’s legal fees, you can do so here.
My Achievements
I did set out some goals for 2020, but quite frankly I think it’s understandable that I’ve decided to just be kind to myself instead.
That said, I did actually hit most of my goals, including reviewing more gender expression items, running a giveaway, reviewing more BDSM gear, and writing for some external publications. And while I didn’t manage to run a sex ed class in real life—because, you know, plague—I did talk about sex toys for trans folks over on Sh!’s Instagram account, which is close enough.
It was totally unexpected, but got a trading card made of me, which is possibly the coolest thing that has ever happened! And yes, I have insisted on printing it out and putting it up in my office area (I have an office area now?? wild).
Goals for 2021
Again, I want to be relatively kind to myself in 2021. I also have a quite big project that should be done around September 2021 which might take up quite a bit of time. While I don’t want to spoil too much about it, I am super excited
Most of my goals for 2021 are vague things I want to write about if I find the right place to pitch to. They include (but aren’t limited to):
- What it’s like to be an former trans child who’s now a trans adult, especially given the focus on trans children within UK politics
- The complicated relationship to marriage I have as half of a T4T couple
- The BDSM community has a transphobia problem. Let’s talk about it
There are also a few products I really want to review in 2021. These include:
- The On The Go Silicone Packer from Tantus
- Sam the STP from New York Toy Collective
- The Realm Lycan Dildo
- The RIP Silicone Paddle from Geeky Sex Toys
- The Liberator Wedge Heart
And finally, 2020 was the year I actually got back into writing fanfiction! I haven’t posted about it much on here as that identity is far more linked to my irl identity, but it’s something I’ve really enjoyed! Not all of my fic has been smut (wildly, the majority has been m/f and/or not smutty), but I have enjoyed writing smut. So in 2021, I’d like to try my hand at writing original erotica!
Top 5 Products of 2020
5: Vixen Mr. Right Packer
The Mr Right is only this low because I’m starting to run out of things to say about packers. I love the asymmetrical balls, I love the squish, I love the bulge it makes. It is a bit on the large side, but I am relatively tall for one of the trans lads so I can get away with that.
4: Satisfyer Curvy 1+
The Satisfyer Curvy 1+ was a real surprise for me! I’ve become very apathetic about a lot of Satisyfer’s releases and was expecting to be very unimpressed by the Curvy 1+ too. And I was pleasantly surprised! While it’s not being placed any higher than 4 because I don’t think the Curvy 1+ is particularly better at orgasm giving than other Satisfyer models (with the minor caveat that if you’re a transmasculine person on T, the larger cup may be a bit more comfortable), I just had so much fun playing with it. Absolutely the most fun reviewing experience I had in 2020.
Read The Full Review | Buy from SheVibe | Buy from Self & More (UK)
3: b-Vibe x Le Wand Anal Massage & Education Set
There is SO MUCH included in the b-Vibe x Le Wand Anal Massage & Education Set that I’m struggling to write a quick sum up of it here. It is a genuinely fantastic set, with something to offer people who are totally new to anal and those who are more intermediate players. I had some quibbles with some of the literature provided with this kit, but overall it’s fantastic. And that blue colour? To die for!
Read The Full Review | Buy from Self & More (UK)
2: The Butters Palm Grease
UPDATE: The owner of The Butters was found to have been making incredibly vile misogynistic comments on his personal twitter accounts. While I’m leaving my reviews up, I am removing all links I make to The Butters’ products, as well as adding this disclaimer to the top of all of them.
I’m a person who is quite set in his lube ways, having pretty much exclusively used Sliquid Sassy for years. But Palm Grease from The Butters fucks so hard. It definitely has limitations, especially as an oil based lubricant that comes in a ‘tub’ container, but if you’re like me and these limitations aren’t an issue for you, I cannot recommend Palm Grease enough. When my tub runs out, I will pay to import this stuff by the gallon.
Read The Full Review | Buy from The Butters
1: NYTC Shilo
Aaaand…. my top product I reviewed in 2020 is the New York Toy Collective Shilo! I’ve reviewed some of NYTC’s gender expression items before, but the Shilo is the first of their pack-and-play dildos I’ve tried and reviewed. And it is… so good. Like the Palm Grease knocked a previous favourite off its throne, so too did the Shilo knock my previous favourite dildo (the Pleasure Works First Mate, which occupied that spot for years) off the top spot.
The Shilo’s silicone is incredibly soft and plushy, and while posable dildos will never be the same to pack as soft packers, I found the Shilo actually pretty chill to pack with! That softness makes Shilo exceptionally well suited to dildo blowjobs, and the pronounced head means even with the softness and lacking a firm core, Shilo can be used for g-spotting and p-spotting.
Read The Full Review | Buy from SheVibe
And with that, my 2020 roundup is done! I hope everyone has as safe a holiday as possible, and see you all in 2021!
This post was not sponsored. Some affiliate links were used in this post
