Way back, even before I started reviewing toys and blogging, I devoured other people’s sex toy review blogs. I also got extremely invested in creating wishlists based on what I was reading—I’m talking colour coded spreadsheets level invested. While there’s a lot of toys on those original wishlists that I have since managed to get my hands on (like the SpareParts Joque, We-Vibe Tango, and Zumio), there’s also some that escaped my grasp. Among them is the POP Ejaculating Dildo. I was fascinated by this toy, a little bit due to some latent gender dysphoria but mostly because I thought the idea of ejaculating on somebody’s face/tits/butt was really hot.
Unfortunately, the POP Ejaculating Dildo was discontinued in 2019, before I managed to get my horny little mitts on it. There definitely are other ejaculating dildos available (I’ve previously reviewed the Big Shot), but most of the market’s offerings are either made from porous materials like PVC (which I don’t recommend and won’t use personally), or on the fantasy side of things. While I do also love fantasy toys, I feel like there’s generally a gap in the market for body safe non-representational or semi-representational ejaculating toys, so I’ve had my eye on the Strap-On-Me Ejaculating Dildo for a while.
Priced at $89.99, this dildo comes in two colour options (black and ‘vanilla’, which is a shade I like to call ‘white people beige’). It isn’t cheap, especially compared to non-body safe options, but it is actually exactly the same price as the Evolved Novelties Big Shot, which is the only other ejaculating dildo I’ve tried. I was really curious to compare and contrast the syringe and tubing system that the Strap-On-Me Ejaculating Dildo with the button and reservoir system of the Big Shot, especially as my only previous experience with a syringe and tubing system was with a gag rather than a dildo.
On top of that though, I’ve been really curious about Strap-On-Me’s toys in general. I’m a strap-on top, including when I’m having sex by myself[ref]One day I will write about how and why I use cock rings and sleeves even as somebody without a ‘standard issue’ penis[/ref], and a product line specifically for strap-on sex has my attention. While a lot of dildos are technically harness compatible, I do often have some gripes. For example, promenant suction cups can make a toy feel like it doesn’t quite ‘connect’ with my body, as well as make toys less compatible with grinders or bases. While the Strap-On-Me Ejaculating Dildo is just one toy in their lineup, I’m pretty sure it uses the same dildo shape/size as the medium toys in Strap-On-Me’s bendable dual density line (not the sliding skin one, that’s different), and general silicone dildo line (which comes in very cute shades of blue, pink, and purple). The tubing definitely changes some of the experience of strapping this dildo on, but there’s enough similarity I was really interested to see if I can feel a difference between this toy and dildos not specifically designed for strap-on use.
‘Why Are People Into That?’
There’s a wide variety of reasons why somebody might want an ejaculating dildo! I know that the POP Ejaculating Dildo’s origins were its creator and her wife trying to have a child via artificial insemination, and finding that doing it ‘turkey baster’ style didn’t feel fun or sexy to them. There are who want to strap-on an ejaculating cock for gender related reasons, whether that’s because they wish they had a cock that could ejaculate/feel dysphoria around not having one, they just want to play around with gender in the bedroom, or because they don’t want to use their genitals in the same way because it makes them dysphoric. There are people who have creampie fetishes and enjoy the sensation, but want the added safety of fake cum or amounts of it that no human could actually produce. And there are people who have fantasies that involve ejaculation at a very specific and particular time, and a dildo with tubing is a lot more reliable timing wise than a flesh and blood penis!
And while I mostly talk about using an ejaculating dildo to simulate cum in this review, there’s no law saying it can only be used in that way! While I haven’t been able to find it available anywhere now (and tbh, I don’t recommend the company from an ethical standpoint), I do know that the Doc Johnson and Kink.com collaboration collection included an ejaculating dildo specifically marketed for piss play. So, you know, using an ejaculating dildo for piss play (especially if you don’t want to use actual pee—fake pee specifically designed for fetishists exists) is also an option.
Cum Alternatives
So lubes that are designed to imitate ejaculate do exist, but I’ve really struggled to find one that doesn’t contain some questionable ingredients. I definitely er on the side of caution when it comes to lube ingredients, and—in fairness—it doesn’t matter quite so much if you’re only planning on ejaculating externally. I did previously use Bad Dragon’s cum lube (although I’m not a fan of them as a company), as they were the only option I was aware of. However, I ran out a while ago and couldn’t justify the minimum $190 (!!) order to have Bad Dragon ship to me for this review. Given it’s not an accessible option for me, I figured it wasn’t an accessible option for a lot of other people too, so looked for alternatives.
I had heard of people using Sliquid Silk with the POP Ejaculating Dildo, so that was my next port of call. Silk is a hybrid lube, using a mix of silicone and water, and I’ve heard mixed things about its compatibility with silicone toys (including that it depends on the specific silicone being used). Because of this, I did a patch test, putting only a little bit of lube on the base of the Strap-On-Me Ejaculating Dildo to see if it reacted. I didn’t get a reaction, but I’d encourage you to patch test yourself, especially if using Silk with another toy or the Ejaculating Dildo with another lube. I also—to have more options, and because I already had a ton of the stuff lying around—tried the Strap-On-Me Ejaculating Dildo with both Sliquid Sassy and water. While I mostly tested water as a control (and because I thought it would be the most fun and dramatic), I do think it’s the closest to fake pee (which normally comes as a powder to be mixed with water), so people into ejaculating dildos for piss play reasons would find it useful.
Does The Ejaculation Work?
Now we come to the big question. Given the big selling point of this toy is the ejaculation, how well does it actually work?
Actually pretty well! There’s a couple of caveats and downsides, but for the most part it’s really good at simulating ejaculation. There’s definitely more liquid flying about—the Strap-On-Me Ejaculating Dildo uses a 30 ml syringe, which is significantly more than the average ejaculation of 1.5 to 5.0 ml. It’s not really possible to make it work without a full syringe either— there isn’t enough force to push all (or sometimes even most) of the fluid through the tubing and dildo otherwise. This does mean the cost of each time you nut adds up, and I ran through most of a small bottle of Sliquid Silk reasonably quickly.
The viscosity of the liquid also makes a difference. Water does create a dramatic ‘gushing’ effect that some people might be looking for. But thicker lubricants tend to ooze, acting more like actual ejaculation than the fantasy version of it. This is a benefit for people into the sensation rather than the visual of ejaculation, but as somebody specifically looking for a big dramatic ‘gush’ visual, I had to adapt.
I found filling about a third of a syringe of Sliquid Silk and topping it up with water worked really well for a more dramatic effect. It did thin the consistency of the Sliquid Silk a little, but I felt it still worked for me visually and it didn’t feel thin enough to completely break me out of immersion. Also, as a side benefit, it made the process a lot cheaper, because ooft lube is not cheap if you’re using it in these quantities. Two full syringes is the same volume as a $9.99 bottle of Silk, and while I really love nutting on my girlfriend/in the Fleshlight I’ve ‘borrowed’ off her/etc, I don’t know if I like it enough to pay $5 per nut. The amount of lube needed is a tubing length issue rather than a design fault, so I probably will just cut it shorter myself at some point, but it still feels longer than necessary.
I have a thread of videos comparing different lubes over on Twitter (because I still haven’t figured out a nice looking way to embed videos in posts and the GIFs I made look incredibly deep fried) if you want to compare.
Strapping It On
So, in all honesty, I was expecting the tubing to make strapping this dildo on difficult. I was expecting it to be possible, but having to tuck the tubing into my harness in an awkward way, as is the case with the inflatable toy I own that also uses tubing. But—and I especially want to shout this out because it’s not something I’ve seen on any other ejaculating dildos—there’s actually three channels that the tubing can slot into in the base.
This means it doesn’t jut out (making it compatible with grindable toys and bases like the Alia and BumpHer), and also means it’s much easier to place the tubing where its more comfortable. I tend to tuck the end under a leg strap (I prefer using my Joque with this dildo over my leather harnesses, as the amount of lube can get quite messy) until it’s time to hook up the syringe and finish things off, and I don’t find that it gets in the way as much as I feared.
And as for if that base—which is heart shaped in a way I don’t often see—makes it more comfortable to strap-on? All I can say is that I now really want one of the other dildos from the Strap-On-Me line. It’s definitely far more comfortable to thrust with than the Big Shot (which I’ll talk about in a second), and I find the base sits really comfortably against my mons. I don’t think it’s groundbreaking, but I can see one of their dual density toys being a nice, safe option to shove into my backpack if I have a hookup.
Using as a Dildo
While my interest in the Strap-On-Me Ejaculating Dildo is mostly as somebody wearing it, I did use it internally to get a feel for what it’s like. And, in all honesty, I don’t really have much to say. When I said I can see one of the Strap-On-Me dual density toys as a safe option for hookups, I want to place emphasis on the ‘safe’. It doesn’t have too much going on texture wise, and it’s a really nice level of squish where it feels cushy but I don’t have any issues inserting it, which can be a problem (especially for anal). The silicone has a really nice smooth texture, and while I wasn’t hugely into the subtle curve (I prefer straighter toys, especially for anal), I can see it working for other people. The best way I can describe using it internally is ’adequate’. If it wasn’t for the squirting element, I don’t think I’d necessarily recommend it over anything else, but I also don’t have any complaints about the shape or sensation either.
Strap-On-Me vs Big Shot
Now we come to the big question. Is the Strap-On-Me Ejaculating Dildo better than the other ejaculating dildo I own? And my answer is ‘yes… with two small caveats’.
I do think, overall, the Strap-On-Me Ejaculating Dildo is a better option than the Evolved Novelties Big Shot. I’m much more confident in its ejaculation mechanism lasting (as it’s physics rather than mechanical), the silicone is much softer and more comfortable for insertion (the Evolved Novelties Big Shot is one of the firmest toys I own), and it doesn’t make a whirring sound as it ejaculates. While that doesn’t personally put me off, I can see it being an issues for others, especially people who want an ejaculating dildo in order to film content. My main two points in favour of the Big Shot are a) I really like the Big Shot’s vibrations and b) I feel much more confident about cleaning/drying it.
The first point is pretty self explanatory. I am not somebody who generally enjoys internal vibrations, but I really like the Big Shot’s vibrations, and the Strap-On-Me Ejaculating Dildo has none. The second needs a bit of explanation. Washing the tubing of the Strap-On-Me Ejaculating Dildo can be… a bit annoying. I’ve been washing it by passing warm water and soap through the tubing with the syringe multiple times, washing the external surface of the dildo with water and soap, and then leaving it to air dry. The trouble is it takes forever to air dry, and I’m always a bit nervous that it hasn’t completely dried. I know that the POP Ejaculating Dildo was able to be dismantled, taking the tubing out completely, and I’d really value that here to be completely sure. Because the Big Shot uses a reservoir rather than tubing, it’s much easier for me to dry it with the open ending facing down than it is for me to perch the Strap-On-Me dildo somewhere where the tubing faces down so that gravity can help get rid of all the water.
That said, because it doesn’t have a motor, it’s possible to sanitise the Strap-On-Me Ejaculating Dildo by boiling it in a way you can’t with the Evolved Novelties Big Shot. You still can sanitise the Big Shot using a bleach solution, but it’s a lot less convenient than just boiling.
Issues/Complaints
I actually only have three complaints about the Strap-On-Me Ejaculating Dildo, one of which I’ve already touched upon. The amount of lube needed to make the ejaculation mechanism work is… quite a lot. And the reason it is so much is the length of tubing needed to actually get to and through the dildo. I can understand wanting more tubing rather than less, as it allows for flexibility, but I really do think the tubing should be shorter. It would also make drying the Strap-On-Me Ejaculating Dildo’s tubing a lot easier, as finding a space tall enough to have all the tubing hang down would be much easier.
My second complaint is not so much an issue I came across as something I’m aware of. While I didn’t have any issues with using the syringe, I can see it being difficult for people with less mobility in their hands. I can do it one handed personally, but it does involve a bit of stretching. I can see people with smaller hands or less mobility needing to use both hands for the syringe.
And thirdly, I really wish the Strap-On-Me Ejaculating Dildo had more colour options. I always side eye companies that only offer one light skin-tone, especially if they also offer a bunch of non-skin tone options. Strap-On-Me does the ‘only offering one skin tone’ thing across their whole collection, so it’s not just an issue with this toy in particular, and I wish they’d offer darker skintone options. I also think limiting the non-skintone option to just black is a bit of a shame, especially given they have lovely shades across the rest of their collection.
Overall
Now I’ve rambled for over 2.5k words about this dildo, my final thoughts can mostly be summed up as ‘yeah, it’s pretty good’. Even though I have a few bugbears, it’s definitely a superior option to the Big Shot, especially when it comes to strap-on comfort/compatibility and with how it feels inserted (even if I do love those vibrations). I really wish that Strap-On-Me would do better around their skintone options and that it allowed for disassembly while cleaning, and those are two of the very few things stopping me from classing this as an absolute favourite. Other than that, my issues are pretty minimal—my annoyances about the tubing length are something that can be solved with a pair of scissors, after all. While it’s not something I think I’m likely to do super regularly (if only because it makes for more cleanup) I do love being able to ejaculate, even in solo play. I haven’t ventured far enough into the fantasy-toys-with-cumtube to say that it’s the best option out there, but it’s definitely the realistic/semi-realistic option I’d recommend the most.
Buy the Strap-On-Me Ejaculating Dildo in black or ‘vanilla’ for $89.99 from SheVibe
This product was sent to me by SheVibe, in return for a fair and impartial review. Affiliate links were used in this post.
